22 Things I’ve Learned in 22 Years

In honor of turning 22 tomorrow, here are 22 of the things, in no particular order,  that I have learned in the 22 years of life God has blessed me with thus far. Some have been harder than others to learn, but all are things that have helped shape me into the person I am today. Oh, and some are just some things I threw in there for comic relief. Enjoy!

1. My future is my own, nobody else’s. The decisions I make affect my future. Nobody else can make my decisions for me. This also means that my future doesn’t have to look like everybody else’s. Somewhere we all got this idea in our head that we are all on a timeline and certain things are supposed to happen at certain times. I’ve learned that’s not always the case. Every person’s future looks different and it’s for a reason. I pray everyday though that while I may plan my future, that God will direct my steps (Proverbs 16:9) and lead me in the way He wills for my life. I never want to be outside of the will of God. 

2. It’s not wrong to ask for help. I went a long time thinking that if I asked for help it meant that I was weak, but that is just not true. I think it’s the opposite. By not swallowing that thing we all at some point let control us known as “pride” and taking the step to ask others for help, we are missing out on the opportunity to be poured into by others who have so much to give. Some of the most valuable words I have been told over my life came when I decided that I didn’t know it all, I couldn’t do it all, and I didn’t have to do everything on my own.

3. You can eat Pearl Street’s Grilled Salmon Salad everyday for a week and be okay. Just saying. You can’t find a better meal than this. 

4. It is a tough job being a Ole Miss Fan. You can’t be an ole miss fan without a handful of panic attacks and disappointing last quarter losses each year, but wouldn’t trade my red and blue in for any other colors. 

5. Bad days are inevitable, but things always get better. Like my sister says, “Life’s not all burritos and strippers.” We all have those days where we think we just can’t make it anymore, that our life is awful, and nobody can possibly have it worse off than we do. Then I bring myself back into reality and remember just how blessed I truly am. Why yes, I am going to have bad days and go through difficult storms in this life, but things will always get better because I have a God who promises to “work all things for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28)

6. I don’t have to change for anyone. I am who I am. If you like me, great. If you don’t, great too. I am not going to change who I am and what I stand for just to get the approval of someone. If someone can’t appreciate me for the person I am, then they probably aren’t supposed to be a part of my life anyway. 

7. Mom is always right. Yes, I admitted it. My mom is always right. Love you Courtney!

8. Naps are totally 100% acceptable. Anytime. Anywhere. Especially if you’re a college student. 

9. People come and go, but the special, true friends, always stick around. I’ve had lots of friends over the last 22 years. Some were only meant for a season, and others meant for eternity, but no matter the time they were around, they were in my life for a reason and I am thankful for them all and what each of them brought to my life. Oh, and age is just a number. I have friends of all ages and I couldn’t imagine my life without them all. 

10. It’s the simple things that go a long way. It may just be me, but it’s the little things that always have the biggest affect on me. From the handwritten notes that others have written me, to just taking the time to shoot me a text telling me they were praying for me, to even just a simple smile in my direction, those are the things that stick with me and encourage me to “pay it forward” as they say to others, hoping I can be for them what others are for me. 

11. Girl’s can skeet shoot too. I may not hit every bird, but catch me on a good day and I can give you a run for your money. 

12. Life is short, make the most of it. If I have learned anything over the last 22 years, this is definitely one I have learned over and over, especially in the last few years. As scripture says, “your life is like the morning fog–it’s here a little while, then it’s gone.” (James 4:14) I’ve seen several close friends and family members slip out of this life and into the next, some not knowing that day was their last. So here I am, trying to live everyday to the fullest, because I never know when my last day may be.

13. If you’re able, never pass up the opportunity to go on adventures. This one speaks for itself. I have never been disappointed that I chose to go on an adventure. Whether it was a spontaneous road trip, to a hike, to flying across the country to Israel, big or small, adventure as much as you can. 

14. Your never too old for Hallmark movies and blanket forts in the living room. Don’t judge. I do this often. Try it, I promise you, you won’t be disappointed. Add some friends to the mix, and it’s even better. 

15. Live in the moment. I struggle with this one sometimes still, but I am trying to do better at it. So often, especially in today’s society where we are constantly on our phones instead of embracing the moment or the people we are with or we are trying to make plans to speed on into the next season of our life before we’ve even experienced the one we are in for all it’s worth. Make a conscious effort to live in the very moment you are in right now. One day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time…. thats my motto. 

16. You may not always be good at something, but at least look good doing it. Dress the part, my friends. Always dress the part. My good friend told me this once and it’s stuck with me. You know who you are. 

17.I could dance on the ceiling all night long with Lionel Richie and never get tired. Lionel Richie is the best, hands down. Conversation over. 

18. The most loyal friends come on four legs. Shoutout to you Camp, thanks for being the best pal around. If you don’t have a yorkie like mine, you’re missing out.

19. “Be NICE” always. This one I learned from my Nanee. I can hear her voice telling me this all the time. You never know what being nice to someone can do for them.

20. The past is the past. Leave it there. We all make mistakes. We all do things we regret and wish we could change. We all have those things that if we could go back in time and change, we would. But the truth is, the past is the past and we must learn to leave it there completely. “Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on to the goal…” (Philippians 3:13-14)

21. Always make sure your friends and family know you love them. My friends and family probably get annoyed by how much I say “I love you” to them, but the truth is, I say it only because I truly mean it. Those are three words I really try not to use lightly.

22. You can learn something new everyday. This list doesn’t even cover half of the things I have learned, because it really is true, there is a lesson in everything. If you live life with an open mind, expecting to learn new things everyday, you will and what a blessing it is. 

Thank you Lord for blessing me with 22 years of life! 

Welcome to Holland

In 1987, Emily Perl Kingsley wrote a poem to express her feelings about having a child with disabilities.  I heard this poem for the first time while listening to a sermon that my previous math professor from MC, Dr. Melinda Gann, had shared at Fondren Church a few months back. I will be honest and tell you that when she first began talking about the poem, I didn’t understand how a poem about such a topic would have any effect on me. I’m 21 years old. Never married. Oh, and I am definitely not a parent. The funny thing is that very poem, the one I almost skipped right over. I didn’t know in the days ahead they would be just the encouragement I needed. God did though.

Read the following lines of the poem below:

C 1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved.

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability – to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this…

When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip – to Italy. You buy a bunch of guidebooks and make wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.” “Holland?!?” you say. “What do you mean Holland??  I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.”

But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guidebooks. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you never would have met. It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around…and you begin to notice Holland has windmills…and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy…and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say, “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.”

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away…because the loss of that dream is a very, very significant loss.

But…if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to go to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things…about Holland.

Life for me lately has been full of new challenges. Some expected, and some, not so much. Some I have control over, but most I don’t, and I will be honest with you, that’s a hard thing to except for me. I am a “fixer” as I like to call myself. I like to fix things. I like to fix people. I hate to see someone I love hurting. I hate conflict. But you see, It’s a struggle I have always struggled with. It is a day to day battle for me. However, the reality I know is this: I am not God and I never will be God, therefore, I have got to learn to let go of the things that are out of my control, and allow God to do what only God can do.

Last week, I was just about ready to throw the towel down, drive to Kroger, buy myself a gallon of Blue Bell Cookies and Cream Ice Cream, come back home and throw myself a big huge “poor pitiful Erin” party as I indulged myself into that ice cream. Because thats what women do when we get upset right? Well, maybe not all women, but I know some of you out there are with me. To me my week had been a week from hell. Sorry, yes I said “hell”, but it’s a real word and a real place, and thats the best way to describe how I felt about my week. The week started out hectic from the beginning. As if moving into a new big girl apartment and starting my second semester in nursing school wasn’t already a big enough load, I had a wreck, that ended in hours spent going from tire place to tire place when I had so many other things I needed to do. After that was finally settled, I decided a nice little jog around the neighborhood would do me some good. Wrong. The only thing I got from that jog was a broken foot, a cute boot, and a stylish pair of crutches I get to be best friends with for the next 8-10 weeks. (Prayers for my sanity are much appreciated!) Then, comes the icing on the cake. Last night after turning everything off and locking up for the night, as I proceeded to walk (or hobble might be a better description) back to my bedroom in the dark, I tripped over a cord, falling forwards and hitting my head on the corner of our wooden coffee table. After a 5 hour trip to the ER, I now not only have a broken foot, but a nice ole concussion to add to the mix. You just can’t make this stuff up.

But then I remembered this poem.

I started really thinking and meditating over the words in the poem this morning, even after the doctor’s told me “To rest and not think for while” Like that’s possible… LOL. If you can’t tell I am trying to find the humor in all of this to keep from crying. But that’s when it hit me: I have a choice to make right now. I can either embrace my “Holland”, where I am right now, and take it for all it has to offer, because believe me, I have already seen some positives come from even these unfortunate, not so fun situations,  or I can sit around, shove my face with ice cream, and dwell on “Italy”, the things I have missed or will miss because of my current circumstances. It brings to mind another quote I saw posted on a girls mirror in a movie I was watching the other night. The note said:

“Do what you can,

With what you have,

Where you are.”

-Theodore Roosevelt

Despite my current circumstances, I am incredibly blessed. Oftentimes it is so easy for us to lose sight of our blessings. I want to use my recent life scenerios, ones that are so small compared to some of the bigger, much tougher things some of you are facing, to try and encourage you. Maybe things in your life aren’t going as you planned. Maybe you recently lost your job. Maybe you thought you would be married by now or out on your own and financially stable. Maybe your spouse or loved one passed away unexpectedly. Maybe your like me, and it is something not as large in the eyes of the world, but still a difficult challenge at this point in your life. It is perfectly okay and healthy for us to be sad, but here is the kicker, the thing I have to preach to myself constantly: There are some things we can change, and there are some things we can’t. We must pray for God to bless us with the wisdom to know the difference between the two. But even if it is something you and I can’t change, God will redeem it. It may not be the place we planned to be, but God has you and I right where we are right now for a reason. He can and He will make it into a “good place” if we trust Him and allow Him to do so. God always makes a way. He is faithful. Join me today and handing these things over to Him, so that we can begin to enjoy our very own “Holland” for all that it is. I pray we don’t miss a single thing God is trying to teach us or use us for to bring Him glory during this time.

 

“Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.” –Matthew 6:34 (MSG)

“You, LORD, give perfect peace to those who keep their purpose firm and put their trust in you.” –Isaiah 26:3 (TEV)

“And don’t be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God’s place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there.” –1 Corinthians 7:17 (MSG)

Walking Where HE Walked: Part 2

What is this a picture of you may ask? This is known as “The Roman Theater”, located in Caesarea Maritima, also known as “Caesarea by the Sea”. The theater , along with a large amount of impressive ruins are found between Tel Aviv and Haifa, along the Mediterranean coastline. The ancient city was built by King Herod the Great and is considered one of his greatest accomplishments. During Herod’s reign, Caesarea was one of the world’s largest ports. The port was known as “the port of Sebastos”, named after Augustus. The port was so large that it could accommodate up to 150 ships in its inner and outer harbors. Remember, we aren’t talking about little bitty ships either. 

While historical information is cool, and definitely important, my favorite part of seeing knew things every day was learning the biblical significance of each place we visited. So what’s the biblical significance of Caesarea Maritima? Well let me just tell you. 

We all know Paul right? Originally known as Saul, who after converting to Christianity on the road to Damascus, became known as Paul the apostle. From that moment on, Paul was dedicated to making Christ’s name known to all. At a point in Paul’s life, he was imprisoned. During his imprisonment, Paul was brought to Caesarea Maritima, where he was stood before King Agrippa. This was a turning point in Christian history. 

In Acts 25:23 we read, “So, on the next day when Agrippa came together with Bernice amid great pomp, and entered the auditorium accompanied by the commanders and the prominent men of the city, at the command of Festus, Paul was brought in.” Do you see it? Have you made the connection? The auditorium mentioned in the scripture is without a doubt the place we sat while visiting Casearea, now known as “The Roman Theater.”(The top picture) We sat on the remains of some of the very same steps that individuals would have sat on who would have been there that day listening to Paul share his testimony. How cool is that????? I still get chills every time I think about it. 

I don’t know about you, but I want to live a life that reassembles the life of Paul. I want to have the desire and passion to share Christ as he did.  As I sat there in what still remains of that auditorium, I couldn’t help but reflect over Paul’s entire life. Paul knew his life wasn’t about himself, but rather his desire was that “Christ would even now, as always, be exalted in my (his) body, whether by life or by death.” (Philippians 1:20)

 It was that simple- the theme of Paul’s life was to exalt Christ. Now, I know that’s not always easy to do. Believe me, I fail everyday in some form or fashion. We are sinners living in a fallen world, but like Paul, we have to persevere onward. We can’t give up. 

Another thing I’ll share with you before ending this post is about the Aquaducts. They are some of the neatest things I’ve ever seen. The Aquaducts are located to the north of the city and were used to bring fresh water to Caesarea from springs near Mount Carmel. Back in the day, these Aquaducts would have run for miles. 

That’s all I have for this post. Hopefully I haven’t bored you half to death and I pray my words came across clearly. My next post will be all about the Sea of Galilee (my favorite part of the trip, by the way!!) and I’m hoping to have it done by in the morning. Until then… 

השם יברך (God Bless), 

ארין (Erin) 

Walking Where HE Walked: Part 1

As I lay here attempting to shut my mind off after being back home for almost a whole week now, I think it’s finally sinking in (or at least it’s starting to sink in) that I spent almost 2 weeks in Israel.

Yes, Israel. I went to Israel. The Holy Land. The place where almost every single word of scripture occurred, or will occur for that matter. I was there. I saw it. I touched parts of history. The bible came to life right before my eyes. It’s so hard to believe. It’s hard to grasp. But I went. I went & I walked. Yes, I walked where HE walked. 

As people keep asking me all about my trip, I’ve tried to come up with an answer to be able to tell them, but I’m here to tell you, that’s been a challenge. This trip was completely different than any trip I’ve ever been on. My brain was filled with so much information while I was there that I don’t even know where to begin. Not only was it a lot of information, but some of it just cannot be explained to a point where you will understand it the way I did being there. As much as I have always hated the saying “You had to be there to understand.”, some of the places we visited and the things we learned, you had to be there to understand. You see a lot, but you also feel a lot. I felt the Lord’s presence in ways I’ve never felt him before. But, despite all of that, I’m going to try my best to share with you the best way I know how, bits and pieces of my trip. It’s going to take several blogposts, but if you’re patient with me, I think you’ll enjoy what the Lord has laid on my heart to share with you. So, sit back, bear with me (I’ll try not to bore you) and hopefully after reading my posts, you’ll feel like you’ve been to Israel yourself. 

Here are a few pictures to get you excited about what I’m going to write about in my next blog post. 

השם יברך (God Bless), 

ארין (Erin) 

I Trust The Gardener

If you are anything like me, you’ve quickly come to realize that every season of life isn’t always what I like to call a “season of harvest.” If I were to describe to you the way my heart has felt over the last several months, I would definitely not describe it as a season of harvest. Rather, I would be quick to tell you that the Lord, the gardener of my soul, has been unceasingly tilling up my life, surfacing the very roots to the things in my life that need to be dug up and not replanted. Is this a tough realization to come to? Absolutely. But, it’s a realization that I am quite thankful for. Why? It’s simple.

God loves me for who I am.

He loves me just as I am.

But, He loves me too much to leave me how I am. 

He is tilling and digging, all to pull me closer to Himself.

All to make me more like Jesus.

A fellow blogger (mysweetjesusblog.wordpress.com) shared a post the other day on this very topic that encouraged me to summarize my thoughts to you all today because it’s exactly how I feel. In that post she shared this quote from C.S. Lewis:

“Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently, He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of- throwing out a new wing here, putting an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards.

You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.”

Just like the house in this quote, I am currently under reconstruction. Here is the thing though, I don’t necessarily know every detail of the blueprint and that’s okay. It can be scary at times not knowing, but I am here to tell you:

I trust the Contractor.

I trust the Gardener.

I trust Jesus Christ, the Lord of Lords, the King of Kings. 

I trust the Father, my good, good, Father.

He has plans for me that are far greater than any I can make for myself. We see this in Ephesians 3. The Lord isn’t going to lead me to a place that He won’t go. He has ransomed me. He has chosen me. This is why I choose to let him lead. This is why I will let him till me up, tear walls down, and rebuild my life piece by piece, however long it takes. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to settle being made into a decent little cottage or a small garden with minimal vegetation. I want to be the palace described in the quote that the Lord plans to live in Himself. I want to be a large garden filled with large amounts of vegetation. I want Christ shining through me. This is why I am okay where I am right now. This is why I am at peace. The Lord is at work and that can only mean good, good things are coming if I continue to allow him to mold me and make me to be more like Him.

So here is my encouragement to you who may be exactly where I am right now, in a place of plowing or reconstruction:

In the words of my dear friend, Kim… OWN IT.

Start now thanking God for not only where you are, but thank Him for where He is taking you. He is at work and only good can come from it. Continue trusting Him. Continue to let him work in your life. Good, good things are coming to those of us who put our trust in the Lord.

“But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him.”

–Jeremiah 17:7

 

Go and Love Well.

As most of you know, I started my first semester of nursing school last week at Mississippi College. After only being in the program a little over a week, I am amazed at how much I have learned, not only medically, but spiritually. With each and every paragraph that I read, topic I discuss, or person I come in contact with, I can’t help but see the Lord at work in all of it. How one can study something as complex as the human body, see how many different things have to happen just right for everything to work properly, yet still not believe that there is a God, is beyond my comprehension.

Since my mentor encouraged me to journal my journey through nursing school, and since not everyone can come with me everyday to lecture and get to witness the cool ways the Lord is present, I decided I would try to do my best to share with you periodically when I am not studying some of those ways. People may not even read this, and thats totally cool–but, my prayer is that in sharing what the Lord has taught me, I might be the vessel the Lord uses to bless someone else. I know so often I am the  most encouraged through others and their vulnerably to share what the Lord has laid on their heart.

So tonight, I just want to share a little bit about LOVE. 

This morning before going to class, I listened to one of my favorites Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth speak on Revive Our Hearts, a weekly morning radio show that has constantly been an encouragement to me over the last 6 months. In her message, she reminded listeners about how crucial it is for us as Christians to love, sharing “to lack love, to be measured in our love is not just something we need to work on or think about… it really matters, because God is love and anyone who is in God, loves.”

Love is a topic that not only came up in Nancy’s podcast this morning, but has already appeared many times in our lectures in class. As a nurse, you work hands on each day with patients from all different backgrounds. Many of these individuals share different religious beliefs. Patients that nurses work with are all different ages, different races, and can also have many other differences. But we are taught that those differences don’t matter. As nurses, we are taught that it is our job to treat each and every patient the same, even those that in our day and age might be considered “outcasts.”

In Jesus day, lepers were the outcasts in society. Lepers were shunned by everyone for the disease they had. When it came to the lepers, however, Jesus set the ultimate example of love that we both as nurses, and individuals today can follow.

“Large crowds followed Jesus as he came down the mountainside. Suddenly, a man with leprosy approached him and knelt before him. “Lord,” the man said, “if you are willing, you can heal me and make me clean.” Jesus reached out and touched him. “I am willing,” he said. “Be healed!” And instantly the leprosy disappeared.” Matthew 8:1-3 NLT

Jesus wasn’t afraid of this “unclean” man. He reached out and touched the untouchable. He showed loved and compassion. He didn’t judge. He healed.

Another example of love, the ultimate example of love in my opinion, can be seen in John 3:16:

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16 NIV

If God can love a wretched sinner like me enough to send His only son to earth to die on the cross for my sins, how can I not love those around me? No matter how they may differ from me, I am no better than anyone else. Nancy summed it up perfectly this morning,

“The measure of Christ’s love–how much we’ve been loved–should become the measure of our love.”

So dear friends, as you go throughout each day, no matter where you are or what you’re doing, remember that we are called to love everyone the way God has loved us.

“So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other.” John 13:34

Go and love well.

An Open Letter To My Parents

Dear Mom and Dad,

The last 20 (almost 21 years) have been a journey to say the least. Along the journey we have climbed mountains, walked through valleys, and even taken a few detours in between. On this trek through life together, we’ve experienced many different emotions: joy, sorrow, excitement, pain, frustration, and even thoughts of giving up.

But here is the deal: the ride isn’t over yet and giving up is not an option.

Today is a special day.

October 27th 2015.

Today marks 25 years that you two have been married. 

Wow.

One of my greatest blessings in life is that you two chose to marry each other on this day twenty-five years ago, promising to love each other unconditionally, in sickness and in health, till death do you part. If you wouldn’t have made this promise, it is safe to say that I wouldn’t be here today.

So with that, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for everything. Thank you for all you have done and all you continue to do for me. Thank you for the many hours of sleep you gave up for me, thank you for the many diapers you changed, and the many times you laid by my side while I was sick throughout the years. Thank you for the many sacrifices you made, the things you gave up so that I could do or have something I wanted.

Thank you for the unconditional support you have shown me in everything that I have ever done. Thank you for your honesty always, even when the truth wasn’t easy for me to hear. Thank you for raising me in a household where Christ is the cornerstone and teaching me that without the Lord I am nothing.

Whether it was the excitement in your voice, Dad, when I killed my first deer, or the shoulder you, Mom, let me cry on when that boy broke my heart, I couldn’t be where I am in life without you both. So thank you for your forgiveness, your understanding, and your patience. I know I can be a handful sometimes, but thank you for never ever giving up on me.

Mom, thank you for getting to know my friends – all of them – to make sure that I was choosing them wisely. That I was continually surrounding myself with respectable and responsible people through each and every phase of my life.

Dad, thank you for telling me what I’m capable of. For giving me the support that I needed to build a dream to chase after. And for believing that I have the talent to reach my goals.

I could go on for days thanking you each individually for specific ways you have blessed me over the last 20 years of my life. Without each of you, I’d be nowhere near the person I am – and the person I’m still working on becoming. There aren’t enough words in the world to express my appreciation, but I think this is a good start.

I thank the Lord each day for the 25 years together He has blessed you two with and I pray for 25 more, even better than the first. Just like you two have always loved, encouraged, supported, and never given up on me, know I will always love, encourage, support, and never give up on you. I couldn’t ask for two better people to call my parents.

Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad!

I love you,

Your First Girl

You Don’t Have To Stay Broken

One of my favorite parts of the summer has quickly become my evening walks with a wonderful group of individuals from my church. This time is such a refreshing time each evening and I enjoy each night so much. One night recently I couldn’t help but notice the pavement that I was walking on. (See the picture above) It wasn’t anything special; however, on this particular evening the pavement stood out to me in a new way. I noticed every single crack and broken piece of pavement that I came across. I then began to think about the story behind the pavement. If the pavement could talk, could you imagine the stories it would tell? At one point, this pavement was brand new. It had no cracks at all. Through the years though, it has experienced wear and tear, causing it to appear the way it does now.

After pondering this for a while, I began to realize that the Lord was using this broken pavement to remind me of a truth that is so often forgotten. As humans on this earth, we are going to experience wear and tear just like the pavement. Storms are inevitable. Life isn’t always rainbows and butterflies, and the sun certainly doesn’t always shine. Unlike the pavement that may never be made new, we as individuals can be made new and whole through Christ. We don’t have to stay broken. Yes it is true, a broken life can be renewed when it is touched by God’s love and grace. We can never be too badly broken for the Lord to reshape our lives if we allow Him. He loves us in spite of our imperfections and past mistakes, and He desires to make us beautiful. 

In the Old Testament, we read that when the prophet Jeremiah watched a potter working, he noticed that if an object was marred the potter simply reshaped it (Jeremiah 18:1-6). God explained that in His hands the people of ancient Israel were like clay, which He would shape as He saw best.

This brings to mind lyrics of an old hymn:

Have Thine own way, Lord! Have Thine own way!
Thou art the Potter, I am the clay;
Mold me and make me after Thy will,
While I am waiting, yielded and still. —Pollard

When melted, broken and torn, we can be fully molded by the ultimate potter–Christ Jesus. 

Lessons from Samuel: A Biblical Journey

Read: 1 Samuel 1-2

A little bit of background information: There was a man named Elkanah, who lived in the hill country of Ephraim. He had two wives: Hannah, who was barren, and Peninnah, who had children. Peninnah provoked Hannah because of this, leaving Hannah upset. Out of her deep distress, Hannah wept bitterly and prayed to the Lord. Her prayer was simple and specific. Hannah prayed, “… if you will give to your servant a son, then I will give him to the Lord all the days of his life, and no razor shall ever touch his head.” (1 Sam 1:11) The Lord heard Hannah’s cry, and in due time, Hannah conceived and bore a son. He was given the name Samuel, meaning “I have asked for him from the Lord.” When Samuel was weaned, just as she had promised the Lord, Hannah gave Samuel back to the Him in the temple.

“For this child I have prayed, the Lord has granted me my petition that I made to him. Therefore I have lent him to the Lord. As long as he lives, he is lent to the Lord.” (1 Sam 1:27-28)

Hannah then praised the Lord, saying:

Hannah’s Prayer

1 “My heart exults in the Lord;
my horn is exalted in the Lord.
My mouth derides my enemies,
because I rejoice in your salvation.

2 “There is none holy like the Lord:
for there is none besides you;
there is no rock like our God.

3 Talk no more so very proudly,
let not arrogance come from your mouth;
for the Lord is a God of knowledge,
and by him actions are weighed.

4 The bows of the mighty are broken,
but the feeble bind on strength.

5 Those who were full have hired themselves out for bread,
but those who were hungry have ceased to hunger.
The barren has borne seven,
but she who has many children is forlorn.

6 The Lord kills and brings to life;
he brings down to Sheol and raises up.

7 The Lord makes poor and makes rich;
he brings low and he exalts.

8 He raises up the poor from the dust;
he lifts the needy from the ash heap
to make them sit with princes
and inherit a seat of honor.
For the pillars of the earth are the Lord’s,
and on them he has set the world.

9 “He will guard the feet of his faithful ones,
but the wicked shall be cut off in darkness,
for not by might shall a man prevail.

10 The adversaries of the Lord shall be broken to pieces;
against them he will thunder in heaven.
The Lord will judge the ends of the earth;
he will give strength to his king
and exalt the horn of his anointed.”

Key Verse: “My heart exults in the Lord;
my horn is exalted in the Lord.
My mouth derides my enemies,
because I rejoice in your salvation. (1 Sam 2:1)

In our world today, we tend to often times feel defeated. Defeated in so many different aspects. The question is this, however: Are we really ever truly defeated as Christians? 

The answer is no. Why, you ask? Not only is God with us in the midst of all of our struggles and feelings of defeat, but we can rest knowing that as Christians we have victory no matter what happens here on this earth because of our Savior’s work on the cross and His resurrection from the grave. As long as we rejoice in our salvation through Christ, our enemies can never put us down.

With this is mind, I encourage you to rejoice today in the deliverance we have through Jesus Christ. Try not to focus on the small temporary hurts of this world, such as what our enemies may be saying to or about us. Instead, focus on this very truth: We have already won through Christ’s death on the cross. He has won the greatest victory of all on our behalf.

Prayer: Thank you Lord for sending your one and only son to the earth to die on the cross so that we may be free. Because of Jesus sacrifice, we now have victory through the cross and through our salvation. Remind us daily of this sacrifice and help us to always rejoice in our salvation. Help us to put aside all negative thoughts about our enemies and forgive them for what they may have done or said that was hurtful to us. Forgive us for the times we have hurt others. Help us to love our enemies like you love us, Lord. May we find new ways to bring glory to you. In Jesus precious name, Amen.

The “Here and Now” instead of the “When and How”

As I find myself coming to the end of another school year, which by the way is absolutely mind-blowing to me, I realize that I wasted a lot of time. Time I will never get back. Time where decisions were made that I can’t change. Time where I passed on opportunities that were presented to me, not knowing if I will get those opportunities again. I, like many others, spend a lot of time wanting to be somewhere else instead of exactly where we are. We long to be at a certain place in our future. For example, many of us long to have the perfect spouse, the perfect house, and the perfect job. We long to make a lot of money, to go a lot of places, and to ultimately, not have a care in the world. Is it wrong to long for these things? Not necessarily; however, the trouble with this line of thinking is that it keeps us from appreciating the present moment.

When we get trapped in this future-focused perspective, we can easily fail to see the important lessons that we’re learning right now, as well as miss out on many wonderful things that are right in front of us. Not to mention, we can also can suffer with constantly comparing ourselves to others, which is a very dangerous thing in itself.

The fact of the matter is this: each and every moment presents us with an opportunity to choose to see the perfection in our current circumstances. We might not be exactly where we WANT to be, but we are precisely where we’re SUPPOSED to be.

I know that I can’t change my past no matter how hard I try. The past is the past and that’s where it stays. I can choose to dwell on it, or I can choose to move forward. I don’t know about you, but I am choosing to move forward. I am choosing to focus on the “here and now” instead of the “when and how.”

I am a strong believer in honesty, so I want to be honest with writing this blog post. I personally have been overly caught up in/stuck in this future-focused perspective over the last year. I haven’t been where I thought I should be in life. I and others had these expectations for myself that I had not yet accomplished. I quickly became so very focused on becoming a version of myself that everyone else wanted, and one that I thought I should be, that I wasted a lot of valuable time.

I began constantly comparing myself to others who had reached the milestones in life that I thought I should have reached at this point. I was constantly questioned by individuals who asked what I like to call “the dreaded questions.” Questions such as, “What are your plans after college?”, and “Are you dating anyone, yet?” While these questions aren’t really bad questions, to someone who is struggling with this particular topic, they aren’t the best questions to be asked. I felt like everyone was judging me for not being in line with a lot of others my age on what I like to call “the timeline of life.” I began to quickly blame everyone but myself for the state of misery I had fallen into, except the one person whose fault it really was: myself.

After several months and hundreds of pity parties later, I decided to block out the negativity around me, as well as the negativity I brought upon myself. I silenced the voice inside of my head that told me I wasn’t good enough. I started asking myself what was really going to make me happy. What was God really calling me to do? All it took was me deciding to be still and realize that the Lord was there the whole time, I just wasn’t choosing to listen. I was choosing to focus all of my attention on the lives and accomplishments of others, that I was too busy to see that God was laying out the steps he wanted me to take in my own life.

“Nursing” the Lord, said. “I want you to be a nurse, Erin.” Obviously, I didn’t hear a loud voice coming from the sky, but instead I heard a voice coming from the pages of scripture, as well as, a voice coming from the voices of other individuals that the Lord was using to speak to me through. So I said yes. A simple yes was all it took.

So I guess what I am trying to say overall is this: I may not be where a lot of people think I should be at this point, my life might not look anything like a lot of the individuals around me, but I know without a doubt that I am EXACTLY where the Lord is calling me to be.

Does it match up with my own expectations of what I thought the life of a 20 year old would look like? Not exactly, but I am okay with that. I may be in school longer than expected, I may not have a boyfriend and receive what MC students like to call “a ring by spring,” and I may not have a lot of other things that some people my age have, or I may not have accomplished a lot of the things people my age have, but it doesn’t matter. Why doesn’t it? Because I know without a doubt in my mind that I am now walking down the path that the Lord has laid out for me, and He is walking right beside me every step of the way. This is my life and this is how it is supposed to look.